Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Mystic adventures

I had hopped onto the Internet bandwagon pretty quickly, at least as fast as the Net could have come to a little town in the south of Gujarat. But the chatting bug somehow swept past me as do all trends that are the most 'in'. It was only 6 years after I had started using the Internet that I used my Yahoo login to get into Yahoo Messenger. It was late at night at my cousin's place in Gurgaon with everyone else fast asleep when I decided to foray into the foggy world of online identities. 

The real deal wasn't ever enough to pull any attention, I had learnt from my chat afflicted and rehabilated and re-afflicted brethren so I went the usual way. I created a "mystic_adventurer" alter-ego of myself and as you can see from the image above (of the aforesaid "mystic_adventurer") still couldn't make him look cool. Some things, it seems are never meant to be!

Nonetheless, I jumped into the game at some random Yahoo chatroom in search of the pretty damsels of planet earth waiting to strike up a conversation with me. My first "Hi!"... "ASL?" resulted in "F, Hamburg, 40". Yeah, super! Turned out that she was a mom of two too. Well, if that is beginner's luck for me I might as well shoot myself dead right now. Being the gentleman that I am, I  continued talking to her and found out that she was an English teacher and that they had "Jurassic Park" as part of the curriculum. That's a course I'd love to take though (and that's because I just love the book, in case you're having other ideas). A polite goodbye later I was trawling the waters for let's just say 'younger fish'.

Then it was the turn of a supposed "cocktail waitress" from Wisconsin doing the usual "LOL! You're funny. I think your avatar is cute..." routine (My past history as a chat observer were a big help here). Before long, my screen was shuddering uncharacteristically and she went "Uh oh! I think it's my guy being jealous again and trying to hack your system." Probably a false claim but I was taking no chances on my bro's system. In went the power button and "Poof" went my system.

Not the one to take a hint easily, I waited for the system to boot up again and finally seemed to strike some luck (if you can call it that) assuming rather simplistically that the person at the other end was telling the truth though. It was raining Irish girls in the 18-21 range and amongst the most interesting were a girl who composed Dylan-esque songs and had a common favourite with me on "Mr. Tambourine Man", and another Irish gal who was studying in Egyptology in Alexandria.

This new-found interest like most others sustained itself for only a couple of nights as I picked a fight with Pink Floyd fans despite being one of them, chatted with the most sarcastic girl ever who claimed to be a 'professional' serial killer (She had a way with words, I must admit) and the shortest chat I had ever had, before I tuned out which went on the lines of:

Me: "Hi!"
Girl: "Me gril [sic] Turkey lonly [sic]!"

It was fun and a dreadful waste of time at the same time and I decided that the latter heavily outweighed the former. My mystic adventures thus came to a stop-drop-dead end after a short and turbulent lifetime.

No comments: