I'll be 25 in a day's time and what should really be scary is how irresponsible I feel about the path my life is taking. Even more moronic is the glee I feel at this lack of an aim, the twig like tendency to float in the tides of fate! Do I feel extremely thrilled at where I am at this point of my life? Hardly. Do I feel the need to turn back the clock and start over again? Over my dead body, no frigging way!
I definitely cannot continue in the line of work that I am in, the boredom would choke me yet I am horrified by the thought of entering another educational institution for the purpose of actual education and have not even dipped my pinky into the wide ocean of offbeat jobs that are out there. I do not wish to win a lottery or tons of easy money either. That's really something that'd really really suck. What's the thrill in that? I do occasionally dream of being a globe trotting author but even that illusion is not strong enough to make me go all out with that aim in mind. I want to go skydiving every afternoon but then I also wouldn't forgo the evening cigarette break with my colleagues cursing the supposed "inefficiencies" of the powers-that-be in our behemoth of our company for anything. I wish to meet new people in new situations everyday yet am terribly nostalgic about familiar friends and familiar conversations.
Folks tell me that its been long enough sitting around making time crawl, now's my time and age to seize opportunity by the scruff of its slippery neck. Most people do by this point in life have a fair idea of where they are headed. I on the other hand do not know and am not enthused enough to find out.
When Pink Floyd sings:
"And then one day you find... 10 years have gone behind!
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun!"
I say screw Floyd and their paranoid, depression soaked songs of perennial gloom. Get a life! Must be the terrible British weather playing on their minds or something!
There is that indefinable something that I am on the lookout for yet not being able to identify it does not bug me at all. Many people actively search for their mission in life. I must be one of the really lazy happy-go-lucky buggers who are praying for their mission to find them. Life is holding her cards really close to her heart and I ain't even putting in the effort to stretch and peek.