Postponed

It's the one word which sums up sufficiently these first 3 years of my working life. When it comes to learning some new skill or technology that might actually help in furthering my present career, I successfully ward it off till it ceases to be of any relevance. Civil Services preparation? Pushed back initially to a later time when I'd have more time on my hands and when the time came of not having less time as an excuse, kicked so far behind that it'll have to wait till my next birth (provided I am lucky enough to be a human again). Taking up anything remotely related to making my dream job of being a writer come true? Indefinitely delayed for very ill defined reasons. In recent times, all activity related to the purchase of an ultra necessary car and the paperwork related to my parents' coming over are the latest to be hit out of bounds by my incredibly powerful and fail safe 'postpone' club.

It seems that the completion of all meaningful targets and indulging in possibly life rejuvenating activities always come with three options for me - 'Yes', 'No' or 'Postpone'. It is easy to forget that the big red 'Postpone' button that I have nonchalantly hit every single time such a choice confronted me is linked at the root to the 'No' button. It is a strange way of buying more time even though the ultimate choice has already been made. A fine method indeed it is of accepting that despite having surrendered and laid down my arms, I am either too proud or too yellow livered to publicly acknowledge defeat. The need to work for making something interesting of my life should be my pressing concern right now but I find that like every other important objective of my life, this bold vision too has been postponed.